What happens to you following a distressing or traumatic incident is a personal thing. You and your family, friends or co-workers may have different feelings and reactions to that same incident; this is natural, and you will be making your own adjustments as you recover. As time goes by, your recollection of the incident will fade, but it is likely, depending upon what happened, that the memory may never go completely away. It can be helpful for you to talk about what happened and not just think about it, which can result in more problems. Find a friend, a family member or someone supportive who can listen and let you express yourself.
Common reactions
After exposure to an intense, unusual event, some people experience reactions that are out of the ordinary for them. These are typical reactions to a situation that is not common and can be dealt with healthily.
Tips for coping
Talk about what happened and how you felt. Do not be afraid to let others know you need support.
Structure your time more carefully than usual and control your daily schedule where possible. Do not agree to do things you do not want to do. You must care for your needs right now.
Return to a regular routine as soon as you can. Wake up, eat and sleep when you usually do.
Exercise and eat right. Avoid foods high in fat, salt and sugar.
Do not abuse alcohol or other drugs. Trying to medicate emotions that do not feel good is never a good idea. It usually means we just have to deal with them later.
Grief
After a traumatic incident, we sometimes have a sense of loss, such as our peace of mind and sense of security. Other times the loss may be a friend, co-worker or other significant person. As we grieve, we all experience the same stages of grief. The timing and duration of the healing phases vary by person but include the following:
Denial
Shock
Anger
Sadness
Acceptance
It can take time before the pain and sadness go away; we cannot put a timetable to that process. We each take our own paths, and it is unfair for you to compare yourself to how others are doing. What has been shown to help is talking about your feelings with someone you trust.
Getting back on track
It is okay to acknowledge what you are feeling after a traumatic incident. When something traumatic happens, we may wonder, “What did I do to deserve this?” or “What could I have done differently?” Indecision, doubt, worry and being over-cautious can keep you trapped at the moment of the trauma and prevent you from moving forward. Instead, focus on the present and what you need now to help you. Doing that will help you get back your life and happiness.
